I Hate Everything About You
by CarpeNoctem17
Summary: Harry takes off the mask he's worn since 1st year through a song.


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the song. The characters belong to JK and the song to Three Days Grace.  
  
Author's Note: Please comment and tell me what you think. I adore comments.  
  
With a violent swish of his blacker than black robes, Harry strode onto the stage and wrapped his hands around the microphone. Even though its very presence was entirely unnecessary, he insisted on using one for every live performance. He had grown up watching Muggles use one and he just couldn't get into the right mind frame if he didn't have one. He gave a slight nod to Jeremiah, the guitarist, whose agile fingers flew over his Les Paul, producing the opening cords of the song. Harry slammed his eyes shut as he opened his mouth, the beginning words of the song leaking through.  
  
_Every time we lie awake_

_After every hit we take _

_Every feeling that I get _

_But I haven't missed you yet_  
  
This wasn't the first time Harry had performed in front of the entire school. Since 5th year, he had performed with his band for the annual Talent Show. He was the running champion, beating out everything from Seamus' Irish step dancing to Fred and George's comedic skits. He was considered unbeatable, for evident reasons. The band's sound was one impossible to describe. Harry's haunting vocals perfectly contrasted the deafening slamming of the drums, the pulsation in your chest that only a bass can give, and the sometimes wailing, sometimes screaming of a guitar. The music itself was the tricky part to describe. Harry penned all the lyrics, which were at times angst-ridden, livid, or a variation of the two. But it was always heartfelt, interestingly enough. No one could say that he was a man without feeling.  
  
_Every roommate kept awake _

_By every sigh and scream we make _

_All the feelings that I get _

_But I still don't miss you yet_  
  
Usually his songs left you with an overall feeling of disbelief. Disbelief that these words, these beautiful, heartbreaking, and poignant lyrics were coming from the black haired, green eyed, savior of the wizarding world. Disbelief that someone who seemingly had everything imaginable was in such intense, searing pain. And disbelief that you never saw this side of him; that you never saw how tortured he was. The first time they heard him sing was when people finally understood that they would never understand him.  
  
_Only when I stop to think about it_  
  
Harry never discussed in much detail who he wrote about. He would smile sadly, a faraway look in his eyes, and dismiss the question with a vague answer. The answer was usually the bare minimum he could give without seeming rude. The only information they got was through his lyrics. They only knew this person inflicted an unreal amount of pain on him and apparently the inflictor had no idea what their actions did to Harry. In the privacy of his own four poster bed, Harry would bitterly laugh at everyone's lack of common sense. If they listened to his words for even one moment, it was painfully clear who he sang about. Who he always sang about.  
  
_I hate everything about you _

_Why do I love you _

_I hate everything about you _

_Why do I love you_  
  
If they couldn't surmise who this mystery person was prior to today, it would be painfully obvious after today's performance. He knew it was a big risk performing the song he had written nearly five years ago, but he was tired of hiding it. One can only live with secrets for so long, before the strain of guarding them overcomes the fear of anyone finding them.  
  
_Every time we lie awake _

_After every hit we take _

_Every feeling that I get _

_But I haven't missed you yet_  
  
Harry violently ripped the microphone off the stand and with the forceful flick of his hand, knocked the stand over, its crashing to the ground not audible over the increasingly loud music. He strode over a few feet, no longer dead center, and crouched to the ground. Emerald eyes that had previously been opened closed once more as his voice grew louder and more strained. Shoulder length black hair tumbled forward as he dropped to his knees, partially shrouding his face from the crowd.  
  
_Only when I stop to think about it_  
  
Inch by grueling inch, the mask he had carefully created was being chipped away. With each note, each breath, he was revealing himself to his friends, enemies, teachers, and everyone that fell in between. He was slowing showing them the real Harry Potter. The true meaning in his lyrics weren't cleverly hidden behind pretty words with double meanings. No, this song was simple, blunt, raw, honest, and completely to the point. There would be no confusion or hiding behind pretty words this time.  
  
_I hate everything about you _

_Why do I love you_

_ I hate everything about you _

_Why do I love you_  
  
If he opened his eyes, he would have witnessed a wide variety of reactions to his song. Anger, shock, disgust, understanding, acknowledgment, indifference, respect, and love. But he didn't open his eyes, didn't dare. It was enough to bare his soul, but he refused to be made vulnerable because of it. There is only so much a man can handle.  
  
_Only when I stop to think _

_About you, I know_

_Only when you stop to think _

_About me, do you know_  
  
He rose from his kneeling position, wrapped an arm protectively around his waist, clutching fabric and muscle. It seemed that the reality of him standing there emotionally naked in front of the people he had known for the past seven years had at last hit him. He swayed somewhat uncertainly back and forth for a few moments before he walked over and picked up the previously knocked to the ground mic stand. He slipped his mic back into it and held onto the mic, fingers tightly locked together. It appeared to all that the mic stand was his only form of support. It was the only thing keeping him upright.  
  
_I hate everything about you _

_Why do I love you _

_You hate everything about me _

_Why do you love me_  
  
It was at that point that the people in front of him realized how difficult and how much courage it must have taken him to stand before them today and perform this song. He had no mask to hide behind anymore. And he wouldn't have one for the remainder of the year, which was a long time as it was only a few weeks before Halloween. Even those previously disgusted looked at him in that moment in a new light. The man before them, the trembling, frightened, silently crying man whose tears were slowly slipping down his face through clenched eyes, their savior, the man that never let anyone too close was letting everyone see him. Without the mask. As just a man.  
  
_I hate _

_You hate _

_I hate _

_You love me_  
  
Harry stood there as his long hidden emotions were put on show. There was only one reaction he wanted to see. Only one he needed to see. He needed to see that despite his problems, despite everything, that he was enough. Enough to be accepted, enough to be given a chance, and enough to be loved.  
  
_I hate everything about you _

_Why do I love you_  
  
He opened his eyes as the last chords drifted away. He opened his eyes as the crowd rose to their feet, clapping madly and passionately. He opened his eyes to lock with Draco's. He opened his eyes to see that he was enough.


End file.
